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Reptile Funnies

5

17 Cringe-Worthy Excuses People Make When Selling Their Reptiles

Posted on December 8, 2017 by Mariah

Sometimes when I’m browsing the local reptile classifieds, I get a little depressed (or I want to take them all, depending on the day). Some are sick, some have obviously poor husbandry, many are the result of a saturated market,… Continue Reading →

Real Talk, Reptile Funnies
0

What if Tinder Profiles Were Like Reptile Ads?

Posted on October 14, 2017 by Mariah
What if Tinder Profiles Were Like Reptile Ads

If you’re a reptile person, chances are that you check the reptile section of your local classifieds just as often as you check Facebook (or more). There’s always the same cliches, euphemisms, and excuses. It’s like a whole new language —… Continue Reading →

Reptile Funnies
3

Study Discovers Viral Cause Behind Reptile Addiction

Posted on July 14, 2017 by Mariah
laboratory image for satire article, 'Study Discovers Viral Cause Behind Reptile Addiction'

  A virus may be behind some of the bizarre behavior observed in so-called “reptile people,” according to a recent study. Many would agree that those with a passion for reptiles are strange. Some have gone so far as to… Continue Reading →

Reptile Funnies
8

Common Reptile Myths That Drive Reptile People CRAZY!

Posted on June 9, 2017 by Mariah
common reptile myths that drive reptile people crazy

Reptiles have a bad reputation. Over the centuries, myths ranging from slightly incorrect to outlandishly ridiculous have emerged. Although modern reptile research and the recent popularity of the exotic pet hobby has proven these myths false several times over, they continue… Continue Reading →

Reptile Funnies
2

Your Reptile Horoscope

Posted on October 7, 2016 by Mariah
Reptile expo horoscope: Scorpio - iguana

Tinley NARBC and the Wasatch Reptile Expo are coming up on the 15th, so the stars are aligned and now is the perfect time to find your reptilian soulmate. Introducing…the reptile horoscope! Compiled with a pinch of reptile education, too many… Continue Reading →

Reptile Funnies
0

10 Reasons Reptiles Are Real Life Pokémon

Posted on July 15, 2016 by Mariah
Real life Arbok - reptiles are basically pokémon

Since playing the Pokémon Yellow and Gold versions as a kid, I (like many other aspiring Pokémon trainers) dreamed what it would be like to live in a world with real life Pokémon. Now that we have Pokémon Go, the real world… Continue Reading →

Reptile Funnies
6

What Not to Say to Reptile People

Posted on September 3, 2015 by Mariah
Madagascar boa skull

Reptile keepers are people too! And we’re just like you—only we tend to prefer scales over fur. But don’t think that we can’t relate. For example, I consider myself a “dog person,” and I was the weird horse girl in… Continue Reading →

Reptile Funnies

HUSBANDRY \ huz-band-ree:

1. The science of caring for animals.

Example: “ReptiFiles.com is the best place to learn about correct reptile husbandry.”

Meet the Author

My name is Mariah Healey, professional reptile husbandry researcher and consultant. I have kept a variety of exotic pets for the majority of my life, but I have worked with reptiles specifically for over 10 years. I am also currently working on my master’s degree in natural history-based exotic animal husbandry from West Liberty University!

I find reptiles so wonderfully captivating, challenging, and diverse that I have dedicated my career to understanding them better. That’s how ReptiFiles was born!

What is ReptiFiles®? ReptiFiles.com is a compilation of factual, science-based research from the best reptile care resources in the world, packaged in one neat website. I mainly focus on writing comprehensive reptile care manuals, but you’ll also find abbreviated care sheets, product reviews, resource directories, and the occasional blog post here.

What sets this site apart from the rest? Well, for one, ReptiFiles offers reptile care information that you can actually trust. And it’s all FREE, because I believe that good information should be accessible to all. The rest is explained here.

Meet Our Partner!

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Proudly Sponsored By

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Zen Habitats is a sponsor of ReptiFiles

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ReptiFiles is not a veterinary website, nor is the author Mariah Healey a veterinarian. Reptile health information given on this site is not intended to act as or replace the advice of a certified veterinary professional. If your pet reptile is experiencing a medical emergency, contact an experienced reptile veterinarian immediately.

© 2025 ReptiFiles®. All rights reserved — articles, photos, care guides, and other resources on this site are not to be copied or redistributed without written permission.
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