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Your Reptile Horoscope

Tinley NARBC and the Wasatch Reptile Expo are coming up on the 15th, so the stars are aligned and now is the perfect time to find your reptilian soulmate.

Introducing…the reptile horoscope! Compiled with a pinch of reptile education, too many Google searches, and a heap of bullcrap, this is your perfect resource for determining not only what to buy at the reptile expo, but also what species your personality is most like. Have fun!

What is your reptile horoscope?

**Please don’t take this post seriously. New pets should only be acquired after careful consideration of that species’ needs and your abilities as a keeper. This is just for fun!**


Aries

Reptile expo horoscope: Aries - Indonesian blue tongue skink

If you’re an Aries, you’re probably courageous, determined, and confident, with impatient and/or aggressive tendencies. You like physical activity and being comfortable, and hate delays. Your active, opinionated personality makes you most like the Indonesian Blue Tongue Skink!

If you’re looking for a new pet, you will find happiness with a Chinese water dragon or a Savannah monitor.

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TaurusReptile expo horoscope: Taurus - bearded dragon

As a Taurus, you’re probably reliable, patient, and practical, with a stubborn and/or possessive streak. You like gardening and working with your hands, and resist change. You are the most dependable of the signs, and a good friend, which makes you most like a Bearded Dragon!

If you’re looking for a new pet at the reptile expo, consider a bearded dragon, ball python, or Tokay gecko.

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GeminiReptile expo horoscope: Gemini - shingleback skink

 

Geminis tend to be gentle, affectionate, and curious, but can be nervous and indecisive as well. You like social activities, and really hate routines and being alone. Because of your gentle, affectionate nature, if you were a reptile, you would be a Shingleback Skink!

If you’re looking for a new pet, a shingleback skink, Northern blue tongue skink, European legless lizard, or colony of mourning geckos is your best best.

Cancer

Reptile expo horoscope: Cancer - panther chameleon

If you are a Cancer, you are probably tenacious, and imaginative. You are also emotional, which can make you seem moody, suspicious, or manipulative. You like art, relaxing at home, and good food, and you have no interest in getting to know strangers. Your introverted, multidimensional persona makes you most like a Panther Chameleon!

When looking for a new reptile, consider a panther chameleon, green iguana, or diamondback terrapin.

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Reptile expo horoscope: Leo - chinese water dragonLeo

As a Leo, you burn with passion, generosity, and good humor, but you also tend to be arrogant, stubborn, or lazy. You like to be admired, be with friends, and spend money. Your only dislike? Not getting enough attention! Your flashy presence makes you most like a Chinese Water Dragon!

A Chinese water dragon, Indonesian blue tongue skink, or Savannah monitor would be a good fit for you.

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VirgoReptile expo horoscope: Virgo - ball python

 

Virgos tend to be loyal, analytical, and kind. Your hardworking nature may turn you into a workaholic, and your analytical side can lead to anxiety. You like animals, healthy food, and routine, and don’t like rudeness or taking center stage. Your grounded, but shy, personality makes you most like a Ball Python!

If you’re going shopping at the reptile expo, look for a bearded dragon, ball python, or Tokay gecko.

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LibraReptile expo horoscope: Libra - mourning gecko

If you’re a Libra, you’re probably social, fair-minded, and cooperative, with a tendency toward self-pity and avoiding confrontation. You like harmony, sharing, and overall gentleness, so violence and loud noises are to be avoided. You are at your best with other people, which makes you most like the Mourning Gecko!

If you’re looking for a new pet, consider a a shingleback skink, Northern blue tongue skink, European legless lizard, or colony of mourning geckos.

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ScorpioReptile expo horoscope: Scorpio - iguana

 

As a Scorpio, you are resourceful, brave, and passionate, and love teasing your friends and being right. You have a distrustful—even violent—streak, so dishonesty has no place in your life. Your bold presence makes you most like an Iguana!

While reptile shopping, seek out a panther chameleon, green iguana, or diamondback terrapin first.

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SagittariusReptile expo horoscope: Sagittarius - savannah monitor

Sagittarius people are generous and funny, but sometimes flaky, impatient, or dishonest. They like freedom, travel, and being outdoors, and don’t like any kind of restraint. Your free spirit makes you most like a Savannah Monitor!

An Indonesian blue tongue skinkChinese water dragon or Savannah monitor would be a good pet for you.

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Capricorn

Reptile expo horoscope: Capricorn - tokay gecko

If you’re a Capricorn, you’re probably responsible, disciplined, and a great manager. You can have a tendency to be unforgiving or condescending because you dislike just about everything and everyone. Your reptilian equivalent is the Tokay Gecko!

You are most likely to be happy with a bearded dragon, ball python, or Tokay gecko for a pet.

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AquariusReptile expo horoscope: Aquarius - scheltopusik, european legless lizard

As an Aquarius, you’re progressive, original, and an independent thinker, because you like mental stimulation of all kinds. You sometimes come off as unemotional or aloof. Dullness, constraints, and broken promises particularly bother you. Your one-of-a-kind spirit makes you most like a Scheltopusik, also known as the European Legless Lizard!

If you’re looking for a new pet, consider a shingleback skink, Northern blue tongue skink, European legless lizard, or colony of mourning geckos.

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Reptile expo horoscope: Pisces - diamondback terrapinPisces

Pisces are artistic, gentle, wise, and forgiving. You have a predisposition for being overly trusting, fearful, and even sad. But you find peace in being alone, sleeping, swimming, and music. You do not tolerate criticism or cruelty. Your penchant for water and inner peace makes you most like a Diamondback Terrapin!

While at the reptile expo, look for panther chameleons, green iguanas, and diamondback terrapins.

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So…was I right? Not even close? Let me have it in the comments!

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